There are no bad questions, ‘cos whatever questions you have, Rita answers it best…

Q: I was told that it is not proper to include wedding registry with the invitation. How do we let people know where we are registered?

A: To include a wedding registry card together with the invitation presumes that the one being invited will give you a gift. This is considered bad etiquette since it is their presence that is being requested (with or without the gift). Those wanting to give a gift either send one or may call the couple or their family to ask what item would the couple need or want. In these days of “practicality, I often advise couples to include where they are registered in an info card which also states the attire and RSVP or any other pertinent wedding info. This way the wedding registry is not too glaring or “in-your-face”.

Q: We want a small but stylish wedding (100 guests or less) but are worried that both our families will want to invite too many business associates and contacts rather than our close friends and family. Is a destination wedding the only option that would keep our wedding small and intimate without disappointing every one?

A: If having a destination wedding is not an option, you could try getting a reception venue that by its small size physically limits the number of invited guests. That way you could inform the parents that there really is no space available for more guests.  Some couples have opted to have 2 wedding receptions (the second one is held a day or two after) just to accommodate their parents’ wishes.

Q: Our wedding is a year from now.  We are choosing between wedding coordinators, photographers, designers, etc. and have mentioned the date in our meetings.  Do we have to inform the ones we are not choosing?  What’s the proper way to tell them?

A: It would show good manners on your part if you inform those suppliers that you are not hiring of your decision. Being professionals, suppliers understand that not everyone gets 100% booking average out of every possible client that they meet.  It would be proper on your part to tell them that you are not availing of their services so that they can unblock the date from their list.  No need to give any reasons or excuses.

Q: In your experience, what age is too young or too old as choices for flower girls and ring bearers? We want them to be able to walk down the aisle without a maid or parent.

A: A child is considered for the role of flower girl or bearer from the ages of 4 to 8 years old. Any older would classify them as junior attendant and any younger is just asking for trouble. Infants and toddlers can be dressed up as a flower girl or bearer for picture purposes but preferably not made to walk.