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Your wedding dreams can come true when you get help from family and friends dear to both you and your groom-to-be. Before you and your fiancé partake in wedded bliss, it will take more than the two of you to make it happen. You will need a wedding party to help ease the stress of planning and organizing your dream wedding. When forming your wedding party, choose close family and friends you can count on to fulfill the responsibilities (especially the maid of honor and best man). You will also need them to work as a team.

Selecting the number of attendants in your wedding team will depend on the overall look you envision and your budget. The grander and more formal your wedding, the more attendants you will need. As a rule of thumb, you will need one usher, also called as groomsman, for every fifty guests. For a balanced look to your wedding, you will need an even number of groomsmen and bridesmaids.

When you have decided on who will be part of your dream wedding team, you and your fiancé can invite these potential attendants to a get together party. It will help them get to know each other. If some reside overseas, you can even make it an online event. Once there, you can ask them about being part of your wedding. Be ready to share what special roles they will have to play. You can adjust the traditional roles to fit the requirements you need for your wedding. Here are the roles and descriptions of their responsibilities:

Maid of Honor: She is your closest friend, either a relative or not. If she is married she will be the Matron of Honor. She will assist you with the details of your wedding such as shopping for your gown, sending invitations, choosing flowers. She usually organizes the bridal shower or bachelorette party. She will be in charge of bridesmaids and organize the fittings of their gowns and instruct them on their duties. She will help you get dressed before the ceremony. She will assist you with the bouquet, and veil or train at all times. She will hold your groom’s wedding ring until the vows are spoken. Her duties will continue throughout the party. She will offer moral support to you, lend a helping hand, sympathetic ear, and shoulder to lean on.

Best Man: He is the male equivalent of the maid of honor. He is the best friend of your fiancé. He will plan and host pre-wedding events such as the stag or bachelor’s party. He will be in charge of instructing the ushers/ groomsmen to their duties. He will hold your wedding ring during the ceremony until the vows are spoken. As the toastmaster, he will offer the first toast to the couple—you and your groom. He will make sure all the suppliers will receive their payments.

Bridesmaids: They should be prepared to help out during the bridal shower and the wedding day. They may be asked to coordinate special details during ceremony preparations or at the reception, and to provide support for the maid of honor. Girls aged 9 to 16 may be included in the wedding party as junior bridesmaids.

Groomsmen / Ushers: They should arrive early at the ceremony to act literally as ushers, make sure everything is in order, and be ready to run errands. They will have to seat the guests as they are arriving and then escort bridesmaids down the aisle. They are also required to assist the couple under the supervision of the maid of honor or the best man on the day of the wedding. Boys aged 9 to 16 may be included as junior groomsmen or ushers.

Principal Sponsors: These are married couples you will choose as your Ninongs and Ninangs. You respect and look up to them as your role models. Their marriage is your guiding light. They will attest to you and your groom’s readiness to marry. As the official witnesses, they will sign the wedding license. They may also sponsor parts of your wedding such as the cake, wedding bands, gowns, and other things you may need.

Secondary Sponsors: These are whom you will choose to carry out the symbolic rituals of your wedding.

The Coin Sponsors will present unity coins also known as Arras or Arrhae, symbolizing prosperity that will be shared, commitment to contributing to the relationship, children and the community.

The Veil Sponsors will place a white veil over the shoulders of you and your groom to symbolize your union; being “clothed as one” in unity.

The Cord Sponsors will place a knotted cord over you and your groom’s heads to lay on the shoulders. The cord is a symbol of your bond as a couple; that you will be united as one.

The Candle Sponsors will light candles on the altar symbolizing that the Light of Christ you received at baptism is the same light you will receive again to lead you in your new life as a couple.

Flower Girls: You may choose one or two young girls aged 4 to 8. They are a symbol of fertility for your union. They will stream rose petals on your path, but make sure the venue for your wedding allows this practice.

Ring Bearer: He is a young boy between the age of 4 to 8, who walks down the aisle before the flower girl(s), carries a small decorative pillow with two rings attached to it (usually fakes, in case they get lost). The real rings are with the Maid of Honor and Best Man.

Very Important Extras: You can also include them in your team as readers, singers, guestbook attendants, someone who will distribute cake slices and gathers the gifts. They will be people whom you trust, to fill up important roles often overlooked in weddings.

If you communicate your needs effectively to your dream wedding team and they take to heart their part, there will be no need to hire an event coordinator. That will surely save you and your fiancé a lot of money. It will also be a great opportunity for your family and friends to get together before, during and after your wedding.

-Viva Villanueva